A ghost at Home – at the same time coexisting in between

Tribute to Inhabitation Air & to the first and last build-up of Sisters Hope Home. Written at Sisters Hope Home during & following House Clearance of Inhabitation Air. Published during House Preparation of Inhabitation Infinity in heart-bursting memory of 

Balance

Curious

Crescendo 

Dramaturg

Spreading Fire

Spring 

Timer 

Air-Root

Asteroid

Ear

Entropy & brother

Glow

Pieces

Pioneer

Sister

Surfer

Tide

A ghost at Home – at the same time coexisting in between

I am. I died somewhere along the endless cycles. Am dead. Yet to reborn. A ghost. 

The house is quiet after the celebration, the birth, the baptism. The rain is falling in darkness. Washing, clearing, cleansing. The promise of how we, magical mortals, live and die time and time again. Eternal life and infinite death. 

At the same time coexisting in between.

Empty glasses, empty plaits. Empty hangers, empty racks. Empty beds, empty space. 

Absence. Filled with presence. Filled with life.

I breathe in these spaces as they are breathing you.

I float lightly through the silent colors of moons and suns.

Moving amongst memories and moments. 

Your laughter, your voices, your eyes, your touches, your scents, your words, your movements still lingering, living, breathing in this house around me. 

Am I here when you are not? 

A future ghost in these past memories?

Past ghosts in my present moment? 

Absence, presence, present, past, together, apart. 

At the same time coexisting in between.

You are here with me in the withering flowers, fallen hair strands, hidden notes, forgotten things, misplaced objects, tools and materials for creatures creating magic. Traces, treasures left behind. 

Here with me. In every breath. At home in my heart.

I am your parent staying home behind to be the anchor while all my children scatter out into that crazy world taking on the grand and glorious adventures of everyday life.

I am the child left at home all alone for the first time anxious and excited to roam and rule this familiar realm in unfamiliar silence and solitude.

At the same time coexisting in between.

Our home. Made by you. Made from you. Made of you. You that have become my colleagues, my cousins, my siblings, my playmates, my partners, my parents, my grandparents, my lovers, my loves, my friends, my family. 

At the same time coexisting in between. 

Together we have built and blessed. Birthed and baptized. Brought to life with our liquids.

By

the urine of our ownership and vow sinking into the grounds and fertilizing the soils.

the tears streaming slowly to stain the carpets with pain and beauty.

the sweat of anxiety and excitement settling in the surroundings. The joy and despair dragging into the drapery. 

the blood of our hard labor and love spilling for all to see.

the spit of our hunger and generosity being shared. Mouths, teeth, tongues, drinks, cheers, toasts, tastes, sounds, smiles.

the snot of our determination and dedication dripping dripping dripping dripping.

the fluids of our lust, longing and life flowing. Secretly. Shamelessly.

the bile of our perseverance, persistence and surrender travelling backwards in destruction and relief. 

the pus our fragility and sustainability oozing out of every mark, memory, moment.

the wetness of our breathing running down the faces and facades, walls and windows. 

Our discharge, secretion, juice. A potion, elixir, serum. Drops of ecstasy and tragedy. Draining from our bodies. Seeping into every corner, every crack, every cavity and crevasse of the house and soaking it in life. 

Embracing the building in the balm of our matter. Our skin and bones and flesh and muscles, veins, membranes and tendons, ligaments, tissues etc. Breathing life into it etc. 

Our bodies, our beings, our selves sacrificed, given, gifted to transform, transition and transcend this space from an empty house to a living, breathing, heart-beating home. 

I am. A ghost. Life and death was lived here. Life and death is living here. Life and death will live here.

At the same time coexisting in between.

Forever your,

Invitation