Staff Evaluation #5: Talking poetry

The following text was written during evaluation meeting among Sisters Staff the 18th of April 2017. Two persons were discussing The Takeover at Fremtidslinjen in Køge while a third person wrote the text. This was done in union different constellations.

 

Det var dejligt at være tilbage. Alt skete meget, meget langsommere… tid blev noget nyt. Det gør jeg altid, når vi går ind i det der rum

Om mandagen der tror jeg ikke jeg snakkede med nogen

Det er meget småt. De der små ting, jeg fik øje på igen

Jeg ville godt se noget allerede mandag

Mennesker med diagnoser. Rykker vi til for meget?

Sidde ovre i krogen og vugge fordi det var for meget

Den mandag gjorde mig virkelig ikke i tvivl, men at komme tilbage til tillid

Den dag var min opgave ikke at gøre noget

Der har lige været autisme-dag. Hvad er det for en diagnose? Hvad er det for et menneske?

Frygten. En frygt hos lærerne. Lærernes kriser man håndterer.

Det er ikke for alle. Men længslen… længsel efter det intense… intens tilstedeværelse…

 

Radikaliteten i projektet. Ikke kun et pædagogisk projekt. Sisters Academy skal noget andet. Der er noget i kunstens logik, som kan være ekstremt frigørende.

 

Det der tab af tillid …

 

Vi var tit rigtigt trætte

Vi var alle empatiske

Vi var alle mennesker

Meget empatiske mennesker

Meget træt

 

Det var det der skete her.

 

Derfor mærkede jeg alligevel tillid. Jeg er her fordi Gardener er her. Når vi kommer derhen, så er der ikke noget at være bange for.

 

Allergisk over for magi.

Magi = Poesi og tillid. Lade ting være tegn.

 

Integrere den del i mit liv. Turde at gå tilbage.

Der var en lærer der spurgte mig, om det bliver hårdt at komme hjem.

Ikke parallelle identiteter.

 

Jeg elsker den der tanke om en ekspansion som kan rumme det hele. Min livmoder ekspanderer. Hvis man puster den op, livmoderen, som en ballon, så springer den i lufter

 

Forandring, hverdagsliv og integration

 

Når man er forelsket i intensiveret nærvær. Når man er forelsket i intensiveret nærvær. Når man er forelsket i intensiveret nærvær

 

Jeg samler på intensive øjeblikke. Det er ligesom perler på en snor

Nu er jeg mere optaget af at spinde en tråd


you have very blue eyes today – I think it’s the ocean

 

did I leave someone behind? – I’ve been afraid of that

 

process – how to follow up

 

how to making it realistic.

 

Longer – time – took time – no time – because everything took longer

 

(language)

 

I wanted to know how they felt – did I cross their limits

 

I felt I left them behind.

 

(because both students and teachers –don’t know where to put it)

 

homework – how am I sure I wrap it up – refine work / methods

 

teachers will say: we miss tools to anchor it –

 

do we crack or they or both / creating space / there’s no manual

 

to understand it / why we do our own rooms / the different levels of method – it took me 2 years to figure out / owning it – teachers has so little time to ‘try to figure out’ /this thing out

 

making space to make it nourish – the post – the

 

the importance of the teachers – these guys are the ones that need tools for the afterwards –

putting an effort into making them OWN it / nurture it

 

”I’m not taking the teachers serious enough – I concentrate too much on the students”

the importance of the teachers / working with the teachers

ground for talking AFTER a class. After bodily experience.


We talked about patience. Patience in order to let things grow. And it came from trust. We learned a lot about trusting in Køge. That’s my opening.

 

Yeah.. When you say that I think about truting that the poetry and sensuousness will grow within them. I didn’t push as deep as I usually do in other projects. I didn’t feel the need to intervene so deeply into them. Here there was so much at stake. There is so much at stake for the students. If it was only the teachers, I would have been much more radical. I want to be more radical to those who push it away. Like the teachers did. I didn’t feel like the students were pushing it away. They were kept away.

 

I also feel like I didn’t do so much. I just was. Doing nothing. It was wonderful just being an image. A magical image.

 

My conversation with the students were short. But in these short conversations they saw things that they hadn’t seen before because they had been kept away.

 

I feel something is happening between me and the student and I had no language to put it anywhere.

 

The trick to crack this is to find the crack. The crack where it leaps in. Without this pleap it’s like craps that walk away. It doesn’t cling to them.

In my talks I wanted to find out where this was taking them. What they got out it. Where it would bring them. But I also found out that talking with them didn’t do much. Words was not our key to understand.

 

Sometimes we can be so focused on getting the philosophy or the overall umbrella – But maybe just being there is enough. It’s beneficial to really play. To just be and play. Being the clown.

 

I was not thinking about the umbrella but I was thinking with some students – Will this go anywhere with you?

 

I think it does! Even though you can’t tell it cannot NOT touch them. Beings has been in their school in their environment. It must affect them, No matter if they can use it or not. It must affect them.

 

But can you create it somewhere else for yourself if you can’t articulate it?

Maybe it is not articulated. We are also doing it because we want to create an embodied experience.

 

Maybe not articulate it. But if they are not gonna seek this thing again. Because they can’t express what it is? How do you know what you are seeking if you don’t know what you want?

 

But that’s what I am saying. It’s a physical experience. The fibers of your longings are being groomed. It is very subconscious. It’s also trusting that this has been affected.

But can it disappear if it’s not nourished?

Of course it can. The questions remain: 1. should it have been longer? 2. Or should it be very clearly articulated – like- you can use this in this and this way – Or Morten says you can use this in this way… But I think it’s also nice to trust the radicality. The inspiration. Trusting.


Taking time before speaking…

The link and contiguous office, the untamed sat with the free spirit by the area because free spirit felt split – link noticed the distances in free spirit. Free spirit  wanted to go to Untamed – free spirit needed to let go. But the day untamed had invited her to the space Free spirit did not arrive. The energy Untamed had built it up just went by. This incident is remembered as an acknowledgement of how fear interferes and how disappointment lurs. The different students had so much at stake when they decided to devote – these students especially because they have lost so much and because they are judged as not being able to understand or receive aesthetis and poetry – The link says it is so important that it actually succeeds for them to absorb and immerse into the poetry. The teachers journey were different with them they need the physical sessions first and slowly they trust, very slowly before connecting with the new staff – there was a lot of observance between the two groups. They realized that they needed to slow down the pace, so they could become present! The gift they received was an embodied experience of how it is actually to be present, maybe they cannot articulate it yet but definetly something was integrated throughtout the project. Because it is a radical project they had to take part in the excercises and poetry. It gets you thinking about how we in daily life also are admitted to normal schedule in institutions and work. So it is a gift to bring such prescence to an area like Køge.

How would we receive it s teenagers??? Would we not be overwhelmed?

Maybe we left the students in a too vulnerable state? Is it important to talk with the students after an intense session, to close or land the embodied experience.

How best to let the seed blossom ?

How do we best integrate a fruitful paedogogical sense. Is the artistic too emphasized?

The students are the important – they make the movement, the energy sustainable.

 

Feelings about making yourself feel beautiful – creating yourself as an image, as magic – this is a gift – and something to do in our daily lives.


 

Art logic verses pedagogics. How to close it down in the best way? To talk or not to talk, to translate or not to translate. We don’t have the answer.

 

The build-up and pack-down was a big part of it. What was challenging during those phases was that our focus was not on them.

 

When we said goodbye – it was a good feeling. We did not leave anything too fragile behind. They were steady.

 

We adapted our way of performing to the situation.

 

Things can change along the way. We can change something that is not fulfilling. Making small changes can make a big difference. To create movement. To challenge status quo. When a situation is stressful, we can act upon it and create stillness and magic.

 

How much do we dare to put ourselves on the line. We had room to challenge our own radicallity. To be the strange creatures amongst a group of people who have been  viewed as exactly that their entire lives – and to then challenge their view on us.

 

To notice the small changes. The small openings for students, teachers and us.

 

To touch teachers.

 

The dynamic of the teachers group changed (Like in Simrishamn). It felt strong.

 


 

3 round.

Motivation was intensified present – that was nice to hear.

What is it it can do?  The intensified present also for me.

That have change – now what to create a long turn project – the longing.

 

Being present is what we long for.

 

Anchering

Not only poetic but by focusinf on it poetictly

Anchoring is not only pedagogical it is also performativly.

 

Leave them poeticly – don´t mean to leave them behind.

We didn´t leave anybody with upen sår.

What happen when we left?

We are not making the frame – how are they deling with it?

And who are taking care of the teachers?

 

We didn´t over step bounderies. I think.

It was new

It was challenging.

Groundbreaking for some?

 

The students meet all the time students with different ernergies. They are use to strange people – so in that way we was not different.

 

It was so shurt – it was not shurt.

Success – what do we hope to opnå? In such a short time?

Integration – it take a lot of priority.

Two week is nothing.

  • what can we do in this little time.
  • Therefore we where fast

 

Time is weird.

When something intens happens time – now it is gone – but a whole life have past.

 

Sometimes the time was long. It take a lot of time to uphold poesy

 

But also it was very homely – everyday life- another day another day.

What do I want to happen before I leave?

How can I do that.

Let other people – not pushing – but opening doors.

Some doors are hard to open.

That is my fear that someone does take anything from it. Or doesn´t get anything out if it,.

 

I feel I have a responsibility to make the students and staff open op.

 

A frame frame frame – she talk about frames.

You are also human.

 

And then there was.

  • we only had them some hours a day.
  • Some didn´t turn up.
  • Some a re there not there

Staff where so protective.

 

 

What is we had a take of with the teachers.

If we dreamed

Capasities

That would be lovely

Integrate it in society

Why two weeks?

Negotiation

Two is infinity – so in that way.

 

A month seem so long..

Money

Research

Interesting.

Okay

Having the parents to come..

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