earth days ago I became a character. A character with no inspiration. You are smiling too much said the angry woman. A replica of the atmosphere. You are depressed she said. Redoing things I’ve done before, as the research come to a holt, and I dive into stamina. Only thing that leaves me feeling strong and authentic, is my wife watering cheeks. Hot drops on mine, then cold came running down hers. Never forget you came from the ocean. Your instinct is old and you can trust it. When someone else breaks down and needs you, you become someone. Burying your heart in the ground where you found it. The black tyl taking in dead leaves from the garden. Looking up in the sky while more water is falling. Dig it up and burry it again. Getting married to The Spring, having to first dig up your decaying heart. Smell so dominating subtle and horrific. Jumping out the window. Running hiding for the white lady. Temperance. Temperance. Temperance I need more warmth. Burn a hole in your clothes. Concussion your knee. Scratch up your back skin with metal wire. And there is a beautiful stranger looking at you. Saying mourning a Home I thought would be, but it’s not for me. It’s for everyone else who comes by the gate, that walks in the door, as the Sun sets. Light fading away. Vibrant color to hue.
Final blog entry Rapture shuns remembering – like dreams when waking. Shared joy is not accustomed to explanation, an invention to measure lightness is yet to be discovered. But some dreams do stay with us, and are Blueprints of the Future. The time at the academy is one of them.