Everything I have experienced during the months with Sisters Performance Method feels like rituals to me now. I want to name them as individual classes, to explore and describe their transformative possibilities and manifestations within the frame of a ritual. But they are all entangled and interwoven. They come from many and from me alone and some of them have only just got roots while others have grown into new patterns.
Meeting the Weaver
The first days I felt thrown right into the method. I was asked to name my poetic self on the infinity day and from then, to begin externalizing. It was great for me with a framework that pushed me to begin the practice before overthinking every detail of the method. Externalizing in the tableau and through the appearance of the Weaver was a funny but also overwhelming starting point. It preoccupied my days and after short time my nights also became explorative expansions of my poetic self. My head started spinning and many questions about my poetic self, and relating and externalizing the Weaver appeared. Questions I could not at all answer but constantly led me to new ones. I got exhausted and felt insecure and doubt.
In one of the first classes we were asked to explore the dark sides of our poetic selves. Suddenly there, in the red light and with a soundscape that supported the ritual, I felt I inhabited the Weaver or she inhabited me. We started moving together and expanded a side I still do not fully grasp – with words especially – but sense and have visualized to myself and my poetic sisters. A web unfolded itself and I started feeling a potential in the entanglement and disentanglement. A sensation and an image that has been strengthened through many of the following classes, and which is still expanding within and around me.
The poetic collective
We are a small group at Sisters, magnet students and air intern, that have been sharing, inspiring and exploring together. Not long into the course we began to practice being a poetic collective that could both create and participate as air magnet-headed (and sun-headed at times) creature, but also individually as a caring support towards each other. I have learned that taking up space and speaking out loud carries within it generosity and strength. I have felt the support and as a support through our strong voices and individual modes of being. I feel a deep gratitude to have shared with them so many special experience and images, always with great respect and so much love towards each other. Through the poetic collective Weaver has become more independent and distinct.
The power of externalizing and creating images
At this very moment the strongest and most empowering feeling I sit with is working with concrete images. It has opened a new side in me to transform inner modes of being into outer visual (non-verbal) expressions. Being an image, visualizing transformations of dreams into the world of concrete, asking my visitors to be images. This ritual is a pattern of many rituals: the day of black veils, of filling out a canvas, of getting stuck and lost, of taking up space, of connecting with the soil, the poetic creatures, myself and the two hearts beating in my body, the days of slowness, of limits and of change.
Coming this morning from morning sea bath. It is like being embraced by the sea, the morning wind, in clouds with rooms of sunshine. I prepare myself for traveling to Sisters Hope Home. I feel light, flexible, fast in my wondering, nervous excitement
Time, I feel it all around me, since i’m constantly running late and going nowhere. I feel the tight grip around my neck and hands, as i’m chained to the time, every minut every second. This will be my search for a break. This will be my attempt to stop…