Landscape biography

A collection of worlds to be traveled as a Landscape

Gradually dropping through layers of fear and overwhelm, slowly traveling through worlds, frozen memory lands of unsafety and hurt. I feel sorrow and discomfort as I travel. I am always alone when I am here.

Somewhere between dreaming and waking is a land made of brown-grey rocks. A very bright, dry world. It has large pointy gem-like structures sticking out of the ground. Here lives a Little Heart. Every time she moves she cuts herself on the sharp rocks.

Traveling here, allowing this Little Heart to fill me, orange and purple flowers start sprouting from my mouth as I breathe into the bright and dry world. I have spirals of life energy traveling up my spine as I bend forward, forehead touching the ground, allowing the Large Heart to lay around my back as an atmosphere of green, purple and orange light, gently cradling Little Heart.

There is a jungle land so rich on natural resources, all the fish cant fit in the river at the same time. The air is so moist it sticks as a second skin layer, thick with scents, to drink and eat directly from the sky.

I may be found laying in the moist, cold spring soil, dreaming here, forest sprouts from my silhouette, lush, fresh, new, old. Very old and just born.

 

Meditation

Hinterlands
There is a fissure in my back, a screen of starry sky. My stomach falls backwards into itself, dark depths.
Landscape: Darkness, small body on slope, sharp rocks.
Path: Stream with sandy ground, it is dark. Following it, naked, sensitive feet, to
My place: A den made of young living trees, circular, in the middle is a bonfire. The treetops gathered in the middle over the fire. Their leaves are purple and green, lush and geometric, reminiscencent of some cabbage plants. Some grow straight out of the stems like flowers. Prisms, 3-4 a string, hang from the branches.
I, a woman, sit cross-legged by the fire, pelts, huntress. Two large panthers, one is resting its head in my lap.
It is a temple and there is strong presence in this consciousness and space.
Seen from the outside: Streaks of vivid dancing light in the darkness, stillness in the midst of strong winds through surrounding meadows.
From the inside: The energy expands and likewise the space. Big circle.
Walking into the unknown/wilderness: A rope ladder hangs over the edge of the world. The ground is a crust hanging in space. Under: darkness.
I am climbing down the ladder, deep darkness sucking me in, I am on a path, trees with moonlight through their crowns.
I kind of have to pass through something, maybe it is a narrow crack between branches or trunks. I end up being born by myself, the Landscape, wandering out of a crack that is also my vagina.
Now I am a very small, shadowy silhouette. I see a flower that is wax-like and moonlight shines on it. And a small butterfly made of light, very lit up even as it moves. Blue moonlight with streaks of black. Air, it flies into the sky.
Trying to divert myself from a large yellow eye, laying behind trees, bigger than the trees, a Snake. Its head is so big that my little shadow body has to sit on a mountain to see all of it.
The eye is yellow and fully open, continuous gaze, large, empty, infinite. Its body hangs across the edge of the world, down into mist and all the way around into a circle with the tail by its mouth.
Movement: Swaying the body in empty space, becoming the Snake, infinitely long and round, large and quiet.
Moving out of it – moving back to my space – do I bring it along?
I am not the same as when I first arrived, so back in the temple my shadow body becomes the fire and it feels natural that the Snake lies around the rim of the temple by the feet of the trees. As if it was missing before.
Fire in my stomach and eternity all the way around. I would like to stay here longer.

Arrival

Underground cave

Conch
Listening without listening

Aliveness in the feet like water springing through them, from the ground through the feet and into the air, water.
I arrange the feet as a bowl, soles up and place the conch there. And at that moment I sense myself sitting on the surface of a very still ocean. Colors purple through blue to grey and black, matte color scheme with lots of white light glittering in the water surface.
The water is so big and so calm and it feels under ground somewhere in a very big cave of black rock.
And there is release, relief, a big relax, some worry and stiffness fall away.

Ritual

The wild

A cone on my solar plexus slightly to the left of the center, immediately sinking down, sliding down.
The flesh like filets stacked sideways, slimy inside the body around solar plexus, the image of a vagina emerges in imagination, the pine cone on top.
Sending down its weight deep down between layers sliding slowly starting to make roots.

Making roots, sucking, nurturing, sprouting something that feels like small ignites in the space over the solar plexus, close to the body, a little cloud of darkness with small lights moving around inside, little glimpses-stars moving slowly like fireflies.
And something wants to grow from my soil.
I support it with sounds – shaking, resonating in the solar plexus, low vibrations to open and support.

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