my tree and my heart

my heart is in suffering and I know why
the pain of separation
the pain of being apart from you
heart and soul abducted
from the distant and lonely land
fleeing from the pain of exile
the burden and lament of limitations

I from the other side of the sky
talk with that tree

in love
light
inspiration

I ask if anyone will be your mourner
will take care of your leafless body in winters
or sit under your shade in summers?
when the scorching north wind of summer blows
will you feel alone?
will you miss me?
I would have come
to pour water onto your whole body!
maybe it would take away your thirst and fever!

or in such hot days, is there anyone
to whisper to you and read sonnets
from Hafez, Khayyam, Molana
or perhaps from Forough?

maybe one day I will see you in my dream
I will rush towards you
pour water onto your whole body
I will touch every branch of your body
I will touch every corner of you
my heart will sink into pain
if I see sick leaves fallen around you
I will feel worried if I see worms in your branches

maybe my tree is not alive now!
if I could reach out to your presence
maybe you could answer me
Put an end to this separation
I can’t bear the pain of being apart from you

here in another part of this world
is a tree that takes me to my childhood
when I look at it through the window
I am fascinated by its greatness and determination
sometimes I talk with it
of separation
of connections
of being together
of distances
or being the same in different places

my heart is in suffering and I know why
the pain of separation
the pain of being apart from you

Hangama Obaidullah © 2023 April